ACTION

"If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you  there".   Lewis Carroll                                                                                                                                                                           

How often do we wait for the 'right moment' before we make a change in our lives?  Reading to explore ideas as well as researching and immersing ourselves in the experiences of others is essential preparation for the journey of life.  But this holds the danger of constantly packing and repacking our suitcases for the journey.  We may avoid taking the first step through the door and commit ourselves to a long and difficult journey.                                                                                                    

There are many excuses offered:  It's not the right time; Once I have finished this or that; etc.  I suppose that is what Jesus meant when he said `let the dead bury the dead'.  The greatest of all excuses is negated by the call to immediate action.                                                                                                                                                                                 

This brings me to Lewis Carroll's point which can be considered just as radical as abandoning a funeral.  This is: You don't even need to know where you are going when you feel the inner call to change.  Just get through that door and onto the road of life.  It may even be advisable to leave the suitcases behind.

CHOICE

This story does not need further comment from me. It is about choice.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on within people. He said “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, pity, guilt, resentment, revenge, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, forgiveness and faith.”

The grandson thought about is for a minute and asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Which wolf do you choose to feed?

ANGER

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"                                               Buddha

                                                                                                 

Who, ultimately, is the victim of your anger?  Clearly, in the short term, those on the receiving end are hurt.  But what about the long term?  Unresolved anger is like a cancer.  It can destroy relationships but more significantly, it consumes the one who is angry.                                                                                                                                                  

One can become angry with the world. Anger leads to fault finding and unbridled cynicism. Angry people do not have to wait for a day of judgement.  Their anger becomes self fulfilling, reinforced by negative feedback.  Anger leads to resentment, isolation and alienation from friends, family and society.                                                                                                                                                                   

Who are you angry with?  How does your anger effect this relationship? Where do you see this anger leading to over the next few weeks and months?  Does your anger turn on yourself?                                                                                                                                                                    

Meditating and reflecting on the source and effect of your anger is part of the path towards healing.  In time, your anger will ease and self hatred will diminish.  Act on your desire to change and cultivate positive habits through regular time out to reflect.

HABITS

"We first make our habits then our habits make us"  

John Dryden                                                                             

Brain research has shown that our brain is not hard-wired but malleable. While the central nervous system is the hardware, its operation is more comparable to software. As such it can be updated and even replaced.  However, unlike a computer, changes in our mind do not occur instantly but incrementally. This change can come about by cultivating habits.                                                                                      

Habits such as meditation and reflection and most important of all, habits involving action, gradually bring about changes in the way we think and act.  It is essential that we live our lives by acting, not by thinking about acting.  Thus our habits make us.                                                                                        

The Jesuit saying `give me the child until he is seven and I will show you the man', is only true to a point.  The habits laid down in childhood do make us, but we can continue to remake ourselves if we are determined to do so.  This may take a lifetime but it nevertheless gives hope.                                                                                            

What changes do you want to make in your life?  What habits do you need to cultivate to initiate this change?

CONTENTMENT

"He who seeks rest finds boredom. He who seeks work finds rest"   Dylan Thomas                                                                                                                         

Dylan's words sound like a prescription for a workaholic.  We spend a good part of our lives working and an equal amount sleeping.  That doesn't leave many good bits.  That is, unless you find meaning in work.                                                                                                                                                        

How often do we wish our lives away for the weekend, knock-off time or the annual holiday?  How much more would our lives be enriched if we could find meaning in our work?  For a few, this is already a reality; for most it seems an impossibility.

                                                                                              

If we focus our attention on the moment; the task we are doing or the people we interact with, our perspective begins to change.  The  moment takes on meaning and starts to enrich our lives.  Finding meaning in what we do brings contentment rather than a restless or bored mind.                                                                                          

Today's image, No Work, is a lithograph by Blanche Gambs, created in 1935, during the Great Depression.

PERSISTENCE

"It is never too late to be what you might have been".  George Eliot                                                                                      

Al Gore jokingly introduces himself as the 'former next President of the United States'.  Gore's failure to become president has not prevented him from going on to make a profound impact on politics through his campaign raising awareness of climate change. He could so easily have given up and settled for a convenient life and bitter reflections on what might have been.                                                           

The lesson is true for all of us.  We rarely reach our goals by following a straight and narrow path.  Sometimes we are forced to take the low road.  Our destination is not reached overnight but incrementally. When we stop and pause on the journey, we can reflect that we have indeed made progress in our lives.  The path is often not the way we had imagined it would be when we started the journey.

                                                                                                                                                                

Mary Ann Evans not only desired to write but wanted her work to be taken seriously.  This was no easy task for a woman in Victorian England.  She therefore adopted a male pen name.  How much poorer would we be without the writings of George Eliot?  How much poorer would you be if you think it is too late to pursue your dream?

HURT

"Nobody can hurt me without my permission".  Mahatma Gandhi

                                                                                                          

Why is it that some choose to hurt others with that most powerful of human weapons; the tongue?  Harsh words are usually a reflection of the anger, frustration or cynicism of the speaker.  Put-downs, expectations, criticisms and in the case of children, name-calling, have a profound impact on the victim.  Why do we allow ourselves to be wounded by the projections of others? It is because we believe the words to be true. We flagellate ourselves by allowing words to replay in our minds, leaving cuts and wounds that fester. In our unhappiness we in turn lash out at others.  How often do parents find fault in their children that they may recognise as their own?                                                             

Sometimes criticism is deserved. However, deliberately hurtful words cannot be deserved and we should not give ourselves permission to let them wound us.  Learn to recognise the source of the hurt or anger in those who are hurtful.  Then let it go.  You can do little to solve the unhappiness of others. All you can do is to show love and kindness.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand, where the winds can erase it away.  But when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone, where no wind can ever erase it.  Learn to write your hurts in sand and carve your blessings in stone.